day 8. when i was most satisfied with life.

Thinking back on my life, I have had some great times. I've generally lived very happy. But the moment that really stands out to me right now, is the day I started college.

Before my first day, I was a nervous wreck. I didn't know how to feel. I was so worried, yet so excited.

So that day, I park my car, start walking to my first class and....BOOM. A sudden rush of happiness swept over my body. It had finally hit what was happening.

             

                  I was starting college.

I wasn't just going to class, I was about to start a whole new life. I could be whoever I wanted to be. All my labels from high school were gone. Nobody could judge me from what gossip they'd heard or who I was friends with because, from that point on, I was just Rebecca Vargas. That day I realized how great my life was.

 





Before, I used to be so concerned with what people thought about me. I had to have the image of being "cool." Over the past few months I have learned to stop caring. I'm so thankful for my best friend Monica. She made me realize that you need to be yourself no matter what. Now that I've learned how to do that, I have made so many new friends and I'm so much happier.



So, going to school with a new perspective on life, and a clean record, I was on cloud 9.

Starting fresh was the best thing to ever happen.

Growing up is so great.

Suck on that high school.

day 7. my zodiac sign.

Cancer

Loyalty

Dependable

Caring

Adaptable

Unpredictable

A man from Texas came to work at my office 2 months ago. He approached me only a week after we had met and asked if I was a Cancer. He said that he studied Humanities and Astrology, so he knew everything about Zodiac signs. He then told me about the personality of a Cancer.

Cancers want security and comfort yet seek new adventure. They are very helpful to others yet sometimes can be cranky. Cancer has a driving, forceful personality that is easily hidden beneath a calm, and cool exterior.

More then any other astrology signs, Cancer needs to be needed.

As he was teaching me about Cancer, I kept thinking about how right he was. My Zodiac sign fits me well.

"The crab is Cancer's ruling animal and it suits them well, they can come out of their shell and fight but they can also hide in their shell and skitter away back into the depths of the ocean."

"It is difficult for cancer to open up and have a close emotionally fulfilled relationship with someone because they are so closed off emotionally and physically to the world. This is driven by their fear of trust, Cancer has a difficult time trusting people."

I do not trust people easily. I'm very skeptic of what people tell me. I just act like I believe things.

"One of the greatest things about Cancer is their ability to make others feel good about themselves and loved. This is because instead of doing this for themselves, they project this onto other people."

 "Other people can lean on and depend on cancer, they will listen to people's problems and help them however they will rarely express their own deep feelings to anyone. People who want to share deep emotional thoughts and opinions with a Cancer might feel that the scales are tipped on one side for cancer will rarely reveal it's true deep feelings."



It amazes me how true that is. Whenever I'd end up alone with a person, I'd hear about their lives and the problems they were facing. They would talk, and I would listen.

The reason I never opened up back, is because when I tried, I didn't feel like they wanted to listen to my problems. So, I just never told anyone how I really felt about life.

Yes, I agree, my sign does fit me.

day 6. 30 things about me

1. I'm probably one of the chillest people you will ever met.
2. My favorite superhero is Batman.
3. I like the sound of people kissing. yeah i know....it's weird.
4. I have 3 teddy bears. Cudi. Manny. & Mimi. I also have 2 pillow pets. Benny (frog) & George (giraffe). Oh and I have a stuffed horse named Atticus.
5. My favorite color is turquoise. Love love love it. I have 3 turquoise rings.
6. I am majoring in elementary education. I want to be a 2nd grade teacher.
7. I hate Joe Jonas.
8. I have a thing for country boys and big trucks.
9. I'm half Spanish and a fourth Italian.
10. I am afraid of commitment.
11. I skated in the 2002 Olympics, during the opening and closing ceremonies.
12. I used to be the worst secret keeper. But now I never share secrets.
13. I've been playing piano for 10 years now.
14. My dream job is to be a manager for a record label.
15. I can't stand when people pop any bones in their bodies. Gross.
16. I'm in love with Blake Shelton. I envy Miranda Lambert.
17. I sometimes get in fights with my mom about who loves Mickey Mouse more.
18. I'd rather get daisies over roses, any day. 
19. I can't live without Mountain Dew.
20. If I could be anybody famous, it would be Marilyn Monroe. Alive.
21. I want a snake tattoo. Snakes are so sweet.
22. I love Indian/Thai food.
23. I'm buying a Harley when I have the money. My bff and I are gonna ride to Vegas when she gets her Shadow and I get my Harley.
24. I want to rent a billboard before I die. I have no idea what i'd put on it.
25. I have no desire to get married. Probably won't till i'm like 27.
26. I could never live without chap stick.
27. One of my biggest fears in life, is to suffer to death. When I die, it better be instantly.
28. I love spicy italians from Subway. So good.
29. I'm attracted to people who live carefree and make the best of life.
30. I'm marrying a cowboy.

day 5. a time i wanted to end my life

I've never wanted to kill myself. That is awful. I could never do that.

                                  

                                                        but...

I have had some very low moments in my life. Times where I have cried to the point of suffocating myself. Unable to breath or move because i'm in so much pain.

I've had two low points in my life. My 7th grade year and the end of my sophomore year into junior year. Holding in your feelings for a long time begins to wear you down. I felt so alone. There was nobody I could talk to, nobody cares about depressed people. So I listened to others problems. Cause that's what I do, i'm a listener. It actually helped a lot.

It was tough, but I managed through. For that, I owe thanks to my mom.

My attitude is completely different now. I'm happy. Very happy actually. I love my life.

Now I express how I feel. I don't keep things inside.

If i'm mad, sad, happy, or whatever it is, you will know.

day 4. my views on religion

When you have nothing left and nobody there, you can always trust in God.

Religion is what builds us. It is what makes us who we are.

When everything in life is going wrong, I know I can always count on church.

At times we may think we are alone, but we never are.

day 3. my views on drugs and alcohol

Eat. Drink. And be merry. For tomorrow we die.

that is the total opposite of what i've been taught.

bad.bad.bad.

"keep your body clean"

But you have to admit...

...it does look pretty fun.

day 2. where i want to be in 10 years.

I can't say I have a plan for the next 10 years.

Planning is a pain and it ties you down.

Life shouldn't be about the destination. It's about living the journey.

All I really want to do is experience the world.

If I can do that, then I'll be happy with life.

So....to give you an answer, I don't know where I'll be in 10 years. But as long as i'm happy, i'm good.

day 1. status: single

Independent.

I am single. And I love it.

I'm young. I'm reckless. I'm careless. I'm free.

Why would I want to be tied down to one man at a time like this? Right now is my chance to explore the world. On my own. In my own terms. Learning to be an independent body. I don't need the affection of one man. There are too many people in this world that I have yet to meet.

I'm content with my life as is.


Boyfriend? No thanks.

ideas & doodles

So I've decided to do a 30 day challenge.....



More to come.